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7 Books for New Parents of Twins

Aug 012012

A while back, I asked a friend of mine what it was like going from one baby to two (he had two daughters at the time). He said, “You know, when you have one kid, how there’s half an hour every day that you get to yourself? To do what you want to do?”

“Sure,” I said.

“Well, with two kids, that’s just gone.”

Even though twins are an incredible blessing, I do have sympathy for new parents who have twins and only twins. They don’t have a chance to team up 2-parents-on-1-baby as 97% of people do, and have those moments of confidence where you think, hey, we can handle this.

But there are experts out there – medical experts, and other parents of twins, who’ve written some wonderful books about being pregnant with and raising twins. Here are seven of my favorites.

Expecting Twins / Multiples 101

Here are three great all-around books on what to expect with twins, from pregnancy through childhood.

When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads: Proven Guidelines for a Healthy Multiple Pregnancy
by Barbara Luke and Tamara Eberlein

This is a guide for mothers-to-be expecting twins or higher order multiples, providing crucial information on:

Choosing an OB/GYN and pediatrician
Diet suggestions to maximize birthweight
How much to limit exercise, activity, and work
Taking a leave of absence from your job
Reducing your risk for pregnancy complications
The signs of true versus false labor
What to expect during and after delivery

Twins 101: 50 Must-Have Tips for Pregnancy through Early Childhood
by Khanh-Van Le-Bucklin

This book is a collection of tips for a twin pregnancy and early childhood from “Dr. M.O.M.” (mother of multiples). There’s a special emphasis on educating parents about the NICU, medical jargon related to twins and newborns, and things to discuss with your pediatrician.

Mothering Multiples: Breastfeeding and Caring for Twins or More!
by Karen Kerkhoff Gromada

This book is a guide about caring for twins that emphasizes breastfeeding and attaachment-style parenting. Some of the topics covered include:

Preparing to give birth to multiples
Possible complications during pregnancy
Coping with twins in the NICU
Establishing a milk supply for multiple newborns
How to schedule feedings for two or more hungry little ones

Raising / Parenting Twins

These are two excellent no-nonsense guides to parenting twins in the first couple of years.

Raising Twins: From Pregnancy to Preschool
by Shelly Vaziri Flais

Here’s a practical handbook on surviving and enjoying twins from pregnancy to newborn stage through toddlers and preschool. The emphasis here is on parenting multiples and addressing common challenges, such as:

Setting up a nursery for multiples
Synchronizing feedings and sleep schedules
Potty training two at once
Discipline
Fostering individuality

Twin Sense: A Sanity-Saving Guide to Raising Twins
by Dagmara Scalise

The author, Dagmara Scalise, is a parent of three children under the age of 6 including 3-year-old fraternal twin girls. How she found time to write this book, I couldn’t tell you! This book covers many of the practical aspects of parenting twins: babyproofing, stocking up on the baby supplies you’ll really need, preparing other siblings for the arrival of twins, etc.There are tips for keeping calm and getting through some of the day-to-day tasks that twins complicate:

Running errands
Giving baths
Getting through the night
Taking trips with twins
Keeping the peace between twins and with other siblings

Life with Twins

Here are two other great reads: a mother’s personal view on raising twins, and a classic book on establishing healthy sleep habits for them.

Double Time: How I Survived Through the First Three Years of Mothering Twins
by Jane Roper

This book by Jane Roper isn’t really a how-to guide, but the story of her own experience raising fraternal twin girls while battling depression and a host of personal issues.It’s an entertaining and very personal view as she experiences trying to get pregnant, processing the idea of twins, sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and all of those unforgettable experiences in the first three years of twins’ lives.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins: A Step-by-Step Program for Sleep-Training Your Multiples
by Marc Weissbluth

If I could recommend a single book to the parents of twins, especially if these are their first babies, this would be it. From the author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child comes this guide especially tailored to twins.In it, you’ll find a comprehensive guide to baby sleep training, including feeding schedules, establishing a bedtime routine, handling late-night wake-ups, and more, all while dealing with the extra difficulty of teaching two babies at once how to sleep through the night.

Toy Wars: Reclaim Your House with Toy Storage

Product Reviews 2 Responses »

Jul 242012

When you have a baby, nothing seems to accumulate as quickly in your home as toys do. This is especially true when you have multiple children. With our daughter, everything was pink: cars, tea sets, dolls, hairbrushes. We managed to keep things contained. Our house decor stood firm against the attempted pinkification.

Then we had twin boys, and it became a two-pronged assault. Cars, trains, and fire trucks invaded. A toy castle popped up right under our nose. The tide of the toy wars had turned, advantage kids. We’ve managed to hang on (and you can too) with this arsenal of toy storage solutions.
Contents:

Toy Boxes and Chests
Plastic Toyboxes
Wooden Toy Chests
Collapsible Toyboxes
Kids Bookshelves
Storage Benches
Storage Ottomans
Hanging Toy Storage

Toy Storage Bins

Lightweight toy storage bins are a great place to start. You can carry these around and collect toys as you go, then stash the bin under a table or in the corner of the room.

Folding Storage Bins Set with Open Handles
These folding storage bins are great to keep in the play room, family room, or anywhere else in the house that needs some extra storage. They’re lightweight with open handles, which is handy if you’re patrolling around the house picking up toys (and you will be!).They’re made of non-woven polypropylene and paperboard, they fold flat when not in use, and they cost about $10 a pair. Not a bad deal at all!Measurements:10.5″ by 10.5″ by 10″ tallAvailable Colors: Blue, pink green, red, orange, light blue, lavender, and even hot pink.

Toy Boxes and Toy Chests

Next up are the traditional toy storage: toy boxes and toy chests. You’ll eventually need one or more of these (we have three) as the toys accumulate. They’re great because you can fit a lot of toys in them and then close the lid, keeping everything out of sight. When we clean the living room each night, the toybox is the star of the show.

Plastic Toy Boxes

Plastic toy chests are a popular choice for play rooms and nurseries. These are durable, softer to bump against, and have the capacity of regular toy chests. They’re also easy to clean (you could even hose it out if need be), which is a nice perk.

Little Tikes Bold N Bright Toy Chest
The bestselling plastic toy chest on Amazon is made by Little Tikes. Their Bold N Bright toybox has 6 cubic feet of space, plenty of room for storing large and small toys alike.See those green rectangular bins in the image at right? Those are slide-out bins that you can use to store small toys so they don’t get lost in the main compartment. Brilliant idea. Simply brilliant. Other features:

Detachable lid for safety
Two removable bins hold small toys
Made of durable plastic

Wooden Toy Boxes and Chests

Wooden toy chests offer some advantages. These tend to be large, offering plenty of space to stash toys. Wood is durable and solid; it won’t bend or slouch even when filled with toys. And let’s be honest, a nice wooden box just looks classier. We have one in our living room, sitting unobtrusively in the corner. Not that brightly colored toys and toyboxes don’t have a place in our house. That place just isn’t the living room.

One challenge in shopping for a wooden toy chest is to find one that’s made of quality materials, e.g. solid wood rather than painted particle board. Don’t believe it’s wood just because it has a cherry or honey oak finish. You can paint any color finish on particle board! I had to really search, but I did find this wooden toybox from KidKraft that’s well-reviewed and mostly wooden construction. Other than that, your best bet may be to make your own or get one used.

KidKraft Limited Edition Wooden Toy Box
The KidKraft limited edition wooden toybox offers three things: style, storage, and extra seating. With its curved arch back and sold construction, you can sit on the box when the lid is closed. There’s a generous storage compartment beneath, and a safety hinge to ensure that the lid won’t slam shut on your little one’s fingers.

Flip-top lid with secure safety hinge
Doubles as a bench for extra seating
Measures 33″ long by 17 1/4″ wide. x 28″ tall

Note that the black, white, cherry, and honey finishes are sold by Amazon.com and include FREE shipping, which you’ll want for the 60 pound package that it ships in.

Collapsible Toyboxes

A collapsible toybox is a nice alternative to wooden toy chests, if you won’t be using it all of the time or want something softer to keep in the play room. These are also more portable, which is good for travel or gift-giving.

Kangaroom Large Collapsible Toybox
The Kangaroom collapsible toybox is a lightweight but durable nylon toy chest. With a flip over lid, convenient carrying handle and collapsible design it’s easy to fold up and move about.

Sturdy sides and is made of 600D polyester
Roomy interior for games, toys, blankets and pillows
Mesh exterior side pockets for favorite books or animals
Folds flat when not in use

This design is camel with chocolate brown trim, a snazzy look for anywhere in the house. All around, it’s a good alternative to a wooden toybox.

Bookshelves for Kids

Have you heard the saying, “A book is a present you can open again and again.”? If that’s true, then my kids open about 200 presents a day. And they’re scattered all over the house. We love books, and we do think they’re often better than toys, but they’re equally capable of making messes.

KidKraft Puzzle Bookshelf
I love this colorful bookshelf from KidKraft; the sides are shaped like puzzle pieces. The red, blue, and green shelves are deep enough to accommodate puzzles, books, toys, or stuffed animals.

Durable wooden construction
Virtually untippable
Bright colors and whimsical design

This shelf adds a splash of color and pizzazz to a child’s room or play room, and provides nice deep shelves where you can stash their things. I love it.

Storage Benches and Ottomans

Another important weapon in our toy storage arsenal is the storage bench or ottoman. These storage spaces cleverly concealed in a nice-looking piece of furniture are the perfect place to stuff a few errant toys or books when company is coming over. They match the “adult” decor of a living room or family room, they’re durable, and they usually give you a fair amount of storage space.

Sheridan Faux Leather Storage Bench with 2 Ottomans
Convenience Concepts makes a storage bench with two matching ottomans that fit nicely inside of it. All three are upholstered in expresso faux leather with box-style stitching on top. The lid of the bench flips over to reveal a tray with handles for doing puzzles, storing drinks, etc.

Faux leather upholstery to resist stains in high-traffic areas
Fully assembled upon shipping
Ottomans fit inside bench for storage
Hardwood tray on underside of bench lid

Square Storage Ottomans

There are a lot of nice options for storage ottomans out there – too many for me to review them individually, but here are four of my favorites from Amazon:

Dorel Small Square Ottoman	Seville Rush Cube Storage Ottoman
Kinfine Tufted Storage Ottoman	Winsome Wood Storage Cube

Hanging Toy Storage

There are some fun, creative options for hanging toy storage out there. These are inexpensive and they get the toys off of the floor, two big advantages in my book.

Jumbo Toy Hammock by Prince Lionheart Prince Lionheart makes some outstanding baby products (the Bebepod baby seat comes to mind) and the jumbo toy hammock certainly qualifies as one. This hanging storage net has three hooks and is easy to install; you’ll probably want to put it in the corner of the room.The material is soft and stretchy, expanding up to 6 feet wide. What a fun way to keep nursery uncluttered and teach your kids to pick up after themselves!
Dreambaby Toy Chain Another hanging storage option is the toy chain. This is great on its own, or as an addition to a toy hammock like the one above.The chain is over six feet long and comes with an easy ceiling attachment; you can string it horizontally or vertically. There are 20 toy storage hooks included.The weight limit is 100 pounds, which you’d be hard-pressed to exceed. It’s a fun and attractive way to store your kids’ toys.
Trend Lab Toy Bag Another option from Trend Lab is simply the hanging toy bag. This large, soft toy pouch can be hung from a wall or the side of the crib. The ties can be tied at different lengths, and the large (13 by 9.5 by 1.5 inches).The stitching is a sturdy material as well, so it should hold up. I can’t find out what the weight limit is, but with kids toys and animals, you’re more likely to pull a hook out of the wall than have this pouch break.Color options: Spirograph pink (pictured), sage green, Noah’s Ark, and 2 other patterns.

Hopefully some of these storage options will help you turn the tide in the toy wars of your home. Good luck!

Newborn Multiples: Surviving the First Few Months

Life With Twins No Responses »

Jul 192012

And you thought pregnancy was hard

Once you bring them home, the first few months with newborn multiples can be a little bit hectic. It’s a wonderful time, of course, but it’s also a stressful time adjusting to the round-the-clock eating and sleeping schedules of your little ones. Here are some lessons we’ve learned from getting through it.
Contents:
Get Ready Before the Twins Are Due
Keep Track of Feedings and Medication
When the Babies Sleep, You Sleep
Use Your Twin Baby Gear
Get Help from Friends and Family

Get Ready Before the Twins Are Due

It might already be too late to give you this advice, but if you’re currently pregnant with multiples, do yourself a favor. Get everything done now that you possibly can. On average, twins are delivered at 34 weeks. Ours came at 33 and a half weeks. Also, there’s a good chance you’ll be put on bed rest (or just be too big to move) late in the pregnancy. Everything that you can get ready before the twins come will make their homecoming easier.

Have the nursery ready. Labor-intensive tasks like painting and moving furniture are best done by someone else (you shouldn’t be around paint fumes anyway). At the very least, you’ll want to have the furniture assembled, the room clean, and the diapers well-stocked. Plan out some toy storage because you’re going to need it.
Get your house in order. Your lovely home is about to be violated in a way it’s never known before. Finish up those home improvement projects, reorganizations, and certainly the babyproofing.
Prepare meals and stock up on food. Fill your freezer with casseroles, soups, and pre-cooked food. If there’s ever a time to hit Sam’s club, it’s now. Load up on non-perishables, easy-to-prep meals, toiletries, and that sort of thing. Pretend the end of the world is coming and be ready to hold out for three months.
Do your research. There are many experts and other parents of twins who have been through this before you. Heed their advice! See our reviews of 7 Great Books for Parents of Multiples.
Run personal errands. These will be among the first sacrifices when the little ones come home, so go out now and get your hair cut, return that pair of shoes you’ve been meaning to, and drop off those donations to charity.
Make sure the car is ready. Have car seats and window shades installed. And ask yourself the question: is it time for a minivan? And make sure that you pick out a good diaper bag for twins with lots of cargo space and extra pockets.

Keep Track of Feedings and Medication

When we left the hospital, our twins were on a fairly regular feeding schedule, every four hours, and half an hour apart. This was great on paper, but as the regimen wasn’t always followed at home. Sometimes a twin slept late, or woke up early. We did our best to keep on schedule. Still, it’s good to record things like:

Feedings for each twin: what time and how much they took.
Nursing and/or pumping. Keeping on a regular schedule will help milk production.
Mom’s medication, especially pain meds. Don’t get behind on these!

We used a chalkboard, notepad, and iPod to keep track of these things and schedule the next feeding or dose of medication. A dry erase board would also do nicely.

When the Babies Sleep, You Sleep

This adage is particularly aimed at mom, who’s likely to be the one handling most late night wake-ups and feedings. During the first few weeks with twins, you’ll learn what sleep deprivation really feels like. You can make up for this by taking little naps while your little ones are sleeping. Even if you’re on a 4-hour schedule, there will often be a nice 2-3 hour block of time that you can use to catch up on sleep. Remember: your body has just been through one of the more traumatic experiences that humans can survive. Getting extra rest will help.

You might be nervous going to sleep while your little ones are napping. You might worry about leaving them alone. This is perfectly natural, and the feelings will lessen [slightly] as your babies grow. A video baby monitor for twins will let you keep an eye on them at all times, without having to be in the same room.

Use Your Twin Baby Gear

Sometimes you might forget (or not even realize) how baby gear is there to help you. With luck, between showers and gifts and your own savvy shopping, you’ll have an arsenal of things to help you. Take advantage of:

Baby containment. As I suggest in 6 ways to contain and entertain your twins, you should take advantage of baby gear that will keep one twin happy and busy while you feed or change the other. Some babies love jumpers or vibrating bouncers, some prefer the swing, some won’t like any of them. You’ll have to try them all to find out.
If you’re going out in public, invest in a good double stroller. You’ll get lots of attention, but it will keep the twins secure and your arms free to shop, eat, or what have you. If two adults are going, putting each twin in a single stroller can be equally if not more convenient.
Look into a twin nursing pillow or at least one Boppy to support your babies while they eat. This saves you some energy and keeps them more comfortable during feedings.

Get Help from Friends and Family

Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends and family. This is something you might even set up before the twins come. There will be lots of vague offers of “Let me know if you need anything.” That’s a perfect opportunity for you to reply, “Thank you! When the twins arrive, would you mind….” and fill in the blank. It could be bringing over some prepared meals, babysitting your twins’ older sibling(s), mowing the grass, or anything of that nature.

Heck, you might just want to point them to our article on 8 ways to help new parents of twins. There are some good suggestions there.

You should accept any offers that will truly help you survive those first few months. You should not, however, feel obligated to accept all of it. Sometimes well-meaning friends and (dare I say ) inlaws might end up more of an imposition than an assistance. Don’t be afraid to say “No thanks.”

Diaper Changing Tips

Life With Twins 4 Responses »

Jul 162012

Changing a baby’s diaper is a fundamental parenting skill. Figure on ten diapers a day per newborn; that’s 140 a week if you have twins. By the time your little ones are 3 months old, you’ll likely have changed over a thousand diapers! To that end, I’d like to share some diaper changing tips that will let you hit the ground running.
Contents:
Setting Up A Diaper Changing Station
Choose the Right Diaper Size
Diaper Changing Tips
Save on Diapers by Buying in Bulk
Pack the Perfect Diaper Bag

Set Up A Diaper Changing Station

Boppy Head Support

Usually, you’ll have a diaper changer in the nursery, a concave pad on top of a flat surface. Smooth diaper changes start with a well-stocked and planned out diaper station.

Plan for safety. It’s rather amusing to see some of the nurseries that people put on Pinterest or elsewhere, you know, with the pad on a slick wooden surface and lots of fragile things within reach. Your babies will slide, kick, and even roll while on that changer. Keep anything fragile or unwieldy away from it. Use a concave changing pad and make sure it’s secure, and use the belt. Don’t leave your baby on the changer unattended; they can easily roll off of it. See also: Babyproofing for Twins.
Use a head support. A head support like the Boppy Noggin Nest (pictured at right) will help keep your little one comfortable and in place during a diaper change. They also protect tender little heads from the hard edges of the diaper changer’s rim.
Stock and restock supplies within reach. You’ll want plenty of diapers and wipes, as well as diaper rash cream, Q-tips, and anything else you might need where you can grab it (without stepping away from the changer).
Consider a wipe warmer. These seem like a frivolous accessory, but I find that a warm wipe keeps the baby happier, and reduces the number of accidents.

Choose the Right Diaper Size

Choosing the right diaper size for your baby is so important! You’ll start out in the “newborn” diaper size but likely graduate from those within a few weeks. It all depends on your baby’s size, as measured by weight.

Baby’s Weight	Diaper Size
8-14 lbs	1
12-18 lbs	2
16-28 lbs	3
22-37 lbs	4
27+ lbs	5
35+ lbs	6

If you’re in doubt, stick to the smaller size diaper. Why? Because the flaps and straps generally can stretch a bit to accommodate the upper weight range of a given diaper, but a diaper that’s too large will have gaps around the legs. Gaps mean leaks, and you don’t want that! Especially when your baby starts to crawl around.

Changing the Diaper

Changing a baby’s diaper is quite straightforward, but may also create some of the most harrowing events of parenthood. Blowout diapers and getting peed on are just the beginning. Here are some tips for minimizing collateral damage.

Get the new diaper unfolded and ready. These things are hard to open one-handed while you’re trying to wrangle a squirming little one.
Put the new diaper under the old diaper. This will help catch any “splash damage” and also makes the whole process quicker. Speed is of the essence. Once that cold air hits, your little one’s bladder is a ticking time bomb.
Make sure the flanges go out. Those loose, plastic flanges that go along the legs should be outside of the diaper. They tend to fold in, which creates a possible leak.

Buy Diapers and Wipes in Bulk to Save

You’ll be surprised at how quickly you burn through diapers and wipes with multiples at home. We’re talking about a box of diapers a week. You can, and should, buy your diapers in bulk. Having them shipped to you is another convenience – you have enough on your plate to worry about going out to buy more diapers! Amazon.com offers Subscribe-N-Save on diapers, letting you buy them on a regular basis (no commitment) with free shipping. As of July 2012, here were the prices by diaper size.

Diaper Size	Baby’s Weight
1	8 to 14 lbs	276 for $47.19	258 for $44.99
2	12 to 18 lbs	246 for $47.19	246 for $44.99
3	16 to 28 lbs	222 for $47.19	222 for $44.99
4	22 to 37 lbs	192 for $47.19	192 for $44.99
5	Over 27 lbs	172 for $47.19	172 for $44.99
6	Over 35 lbs	140 for $47.19	140 for $44.99

Wipes are another staple that you can buy in bulk. It kind of sucks to have to store these, but we find places for them – under the twins’ cribs is the current favorite. We refill the wipe warmer every couple of days, and those wipes add up! I do recommend trying a few different brands and styles to find one that you and your multiples like best.

Pack the Perfect Diaper Bag

Hard as it might seem in the first few weeks, there will come a time when you’ll want to take your twins out in the world. One thing you’ll need to do that is a well-packed diaper bag. First, see our reviews of diaper bags for twins and make sure you get one that’s BIG enough! We have a whole article on how to pack a diaper bag for twins, but here are the basics for a single-day outing with twins; be sure to adjust for your little ones’ needs and preferences!

18-20 diapers
Stack of wipes 2-3″ thick (usually 1-2 small packs)
Diaper changing pad
2 extra outfits
2 sets of pajamas
2 receiving or swaddle blankets
Diaper cream (Dr. Smith’s)
4-5 pacifiers
2 bottles or sippy cups, filled with pre-measured formula if you’re using it
1 unopened bottle of water
Teething gel (Baby Orajel)
Bottle of children’s pain reliever and 2 syringes
2 packs of travel tissues
2-3 children’s books or soft play toys

8 Ways to Help New Parents of Twins

Parenting Twins 2 Responses »

Jul 152012

It’s a joyous event when a close friend or relative gives birth to twins. Even before the delivery, a twin pregnancy often brings an outpouring of offers to the expecting parents.

While these are offered with good intentions, it’s important to realize that having twins and bringing them home is usually a very stressful event. It’s not an easy adjustment for any family, and certain types of “assistance” might do more harm than good. If you’d like to truly help and support a new family with multiples, here are some things you can do.

1. Resist the urge to pop in.

When the twins come home, often the first thing that relatives and friends offer is to come visit. You should be aware with two infants and minimal sleep, hygiene and personal appearance are among the first things to go out the window. Unless you’re a first-degree relative or best friend, you probably shouldn’t visit for a couple of weeks. And no matter who you are, please don’t turn up at the door unannounced! Ask first, with plenty of advance notice, and don’t overstay your welcome. There will be plenty of opportunities to visit when people start showering regularly again.

2. Give the gift of….

A little something to show that you care and make the new parents feel extra special will mean a lot. A membership to the local Mothers of Twins club, subscription to Parents magazine, or other gift will win you lots of points.

3. Deliveries are welcome.

A few relatives sent us flowers, gifts, or cards through the hospital gift shop. This seems like a small thing, but it was very thoughtful and took virtually no effort on our end. The staff just delivered them with card and set them on display for our enjoyment. Care packages delivered to the home were nice too.

4. Think hand-me-downs.

Twins require lots of baby gear, and much of it won’t be covered by shower gifts (especially if the parents already have children). We gladly accepted many generous offers of hand-me-downs of clothes, strollers, and other necessities. Some came from relatives with older children, some were offered by casual but sympathetic acquaintances. Parents of twins might not be able to use everything you offer, but the sentiment will be duly appreciated.

5. Buy us dinner.

Prepared meals, be they a frozen casserole or a hot pizza or delivered carryout, are a godsend. Cooking and running out for food are errands that new parents of twins will happily skip thanks to your generosity. Heck, even a bag of groceries can help in those first few chaotic weeks.

6. Visitors: Support first, socialize second.

It’s wonderful to have a visitor whose goal is to help us out, not get a sneak-peek at the precious newborns or socialize with their exhausted parents. Relief troops who are willing to tidy up, cook dinner, wash dishes, do laundry, help with babyproofing, and/or handle any wakeful babies (or siblings) while their mother naps are true heroes.

7. Baby supplies.

As newborns, a pair of twins will go through a box of 140-150 diapers per week. That’s a lot. Newborn twins often are supplemented with or primarily fed on infant formula, powdered gold that goes quickly (and proportionally to the diapers). A delivery of these key staples, or even a gift card with them in mind, will be appreciated. Do check on brand and size preferences to make sure you get that right.

8. Send congratulations and support.

The pregnancy and the first few weeks (months? years?) with newborn twins can be hard on parents. Flowers, cards, or e-mails of congratulations and offers of support (“Call me anytime, 24/7, if you need something”) will go a long way.

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